'4-0' - A Short Story. Plus Week 7 Match Report

                ‘4-0.’ Green’s voice faltered slightly as he delivered the words, but he hoped that his diffidence wouldn’t be detected on the other end of the phone.
                ‘4-0?’ O’Loughlin replied. His voice was calm, but that didn’t yet assuage Green’s fears.
                ‘Yes, four.’
                ‘4-0?’ replied O’Loughlin again, this time his voice higher. ‘Tell me it was a good defeat; a defeat in the manner of the one we suffered against the Hurricanes.’

MAMPAM - Get Ahead Of The Games, Prepare Now!

The MAMnium seems to have caught people's imaginations, with Alex, Ben and Daniel adding a further 3 events to the parlour-based heptathlon of the decathlon of the velodrome. Read on to make sure that you are fully prepared for what is surely going to be a monster MAMPAM.

The Importance Of Being Punctual

With everyone champing at the bit to get this week's MAMnium* underway, let's make sure this gets underway on time.

*Jon's update: No bugle available for the MAMnium because Mike took it with him when he was turfed out by Claire (see above video) and Margaret. Replacement instruments are currently being sought.

The Úm Louts Match Report: Week VI

Week VI saw The Úm Louts drag ourselves onto the league leaders and our toughest test. Complications arose by way of the captain being waylaid and unable to play owing to a burst arm (or rib) and Pete having a broken arse. With the captain out of action it was up to me to write the report on yet another glorious defeat, following in a long line of glorious English defeats: the Light Brigade, Harold II and Gazza.

The Úm Louts Match Report: Week V

Week 5 of the Elms' Summer League saw the mighty warriors of the Úm Louts potted against the evil Rocketeers. We lost in an enthralling encounter but the mood in the camp was not darkened, as the Captain's email will show.

Let me take you back a few years.

Eight years in fact. A time when the ‘Double Dip’ meant nothing to anyone, where the Olympics were no more than a pipe dream, where The News Of The World was core reading on a Sunday. A time when Nokia ruled the roost, Snake 2 occupied our time, careers were being forged by all of us. Schumacher winning every week, Pie Club on a Thursday, Late Night London venues aplenty, before Joe swapped Balham for Brooklyn, and we swapped Joe for Pete.

The MAMnium

MAMPAM hasn't really figured during the London 2012 MAMPAM Olympics* so far. Well, we would not want to steal Lord Coe's thunder, would we? Everybody knows that MAMPAM is the world's premier gathering of athletes, where the sipping of red wine (never glug a lovely wine, I always say), freestyle wrestling contests and marathon Monster Munch eating contests are at the forefront of the games.