MAMPAM Appears Out Of Nowhere!

Oh, steady the mountains, look over your boulders, here come the ancients; it's MAMPAM!!!!
Who'd a thunk it? After a hiatus of literally weeks, where nobody could find it, MAMPAM surprises us all by launching itself from the NHS servers and out into the ether, grabbing us all by the perpendiculars and screaming in our faces: 'Would you like some Spontaneous Combustion Sauce with that, Vicar?'
 
Christ, I'm excited. I mean, really really excited. Do you want to know why? I bet you can't guess. This man wants to know the reason why. He really really wants to know the reason why.
 
 

 
I'll tell you the reason why - because MAMPAM is back, hoo yah!
 
I got this email from Jon, our man in Maidstone, recently:
 

"I've drunk quite a lot of wine recently. On occasion I've eaten some pizza. I even looked at a bag of Monster Munch. Flamin' Hot flavour if memory serves. But at no point were all three combined. This hasn't sat right with me.

But what's to be done?' I hear you ask. Well MAMPAM, that's what."

 

I hear you Jon. That's why this MAMPAM is going to be an October Special! Oh yes! Look to the stars and grapple with your senses; rinse your pies down the plughole and gawp no longer at the traction belts of fame, for this is the time when we tale a bunsen burner to the leaky gas pipe of life, and say 'Eggs to you, slaphapplers!'

Úm Úpdate

Phew! Glad I got that off my chest! Right, now t more pressing matters. The Úm Louts play Davies International Tonight. We have a strapped up squad but we believe that we can make it another 3 points and another unbeaten game. We are up to 3rd today, where will we be come the end of the game today?

See you at MAMPAM!

The Importance Of Being Punctual

With everyone champing at the bit to get this week's MAMnium* underway, let's make sure this gets underway on time.

*Jon's update: No bugle available for the MAMnium because Mike took it with him when he was turfed out by Claire (see above video) and Margaret. Replacement instruments are currently being sought.

The MAMnium

MAMPAM hasn't really figured during the London 2012 MAMPAM Olympics* so far. Well, we would not want to steal Lord Coe's thunder, would we? Everybody knows that MAMPAM is the world's premier gathering of athletes, where the sipping of red wine (never glug a lovely wine, I always say), freestyle wrestling contests and marathon Monster Munch eating contests are at the forefront of the games.

The Üm Louts

MAMPAM has traditionally been a bastion and birthplace of many new traditions. Traditionally these traditions have erred on the side of more traditional traditions, such as the eating of pizza, the monstering of munch, and the regardement of Christ-bitingly crappy films.