Last in the series before we catch with the present, here is the match summary of last week's painful 4-2 defeat against the evil Harry Monks...
The Captain
Afternoon all,
Well, that was exciting wasn’t it?! The Üm Louts’ consistent inconsistency in their results, with a 3-0 drubbing quickly followed by a 3-0 whitewash, and then back down to earth with a bump after a hard fought 4-2 defeat. Pride, whilst battered through the first 20 minutes, was more than restored with two sublime finishes from Daniel, putting him 2nd in our top scorer charts behind Walk Over, who bagged a hat-trick on our behalf last week
I know that the result was disappointing, but, against a very difficult team, one that was more suited to the running of the bulls than an FA sanctioned league, we more than held our own, and, if the goalpost was one inch to the left, would have resulted in a 4-4 draw and establishing us as the Boucnebackability champions. In fact, not since Steve Sedgley famously hit the post in 1996 in the last minute against Charlton have I been so disappointed that the width of a lick of paint cost us our dreams. Well done to Pete and Dan for their strikes, absolutely proving that if you don’t buy a ticket, you don’t win.
I have a few memories from the day, highlights if you will. Please feel free to add your own:
Pre Match
- Kevin doing the slowest warm up you’ve ever seen, resulting in me walking alongside him as he jogged
- Me on Dan’s back on a warm-up run, Dan on my back similarly, and us both looking at Kevin and deciding against it
- Pete remembering his shinpads
- The traditional will-he-won’t-he saga of whether Jon will turn up
- Russell’s slightly darker blue shorts, still not quite black
- My team selection as captain, desperate not to upset anyone, and then changing tact and telling Pete to dry his eyes when he wasn’t a starter
- The pre-match ham and pig dedication ceremony
Match
- The opening assault on me from a grown up version of the lead singer of Hanson
- Our early dominance
- Constant niggling fouls from then, clean, crisp passing from us, the best we’ve managed so far
- Me complaining to the referee, to the point where I was just making stuff up
- Kitten and Wendy’s special awareness, they never realised when they were close to us, as they kept slamming into us. That or they’re just idiots
- Darryl’s face after getting clattered, debating with himself whether to take on Kitten. Fists were clenched, composure was maintained. Good work
- Their first goal, let’s be honest, it was lovely
- Their second, third and fourth goals, attributed to errors from Jon, me and Dan. All a bit unlucky really
- Dan kicking the ball in our box and not conceding a penalty
- An Üm Lout goal!!! And then… another one!
- Us all really getting stuck in. Showing the opposition what fair aggression looked like
- James showing them what fair aggression doesn’t look like. Beautiful foul
- Kev’s elegance on the ball. He kept possession more than any of us
- Dan’s huge shot that cleared the trees, was a beaut
- Last ditch defending, John Terry style, once again, from Russell.
- Them having a player called Alex, and confusing me
Post Match
- Jon complaining the whole way to the pub, and the smells we encountered along the way
- Beat The Landlord. The single biggest waste of 50p known to man
- Dan unplugging the machine, and us still not winning
- The ambience and atmosphere in that pub. It was electric once again
Right – three points next week please, let’s dee it man. Feel free to add anything to the report, sorry it took a while, busy day.
With love and Ümlauts
The Captain
No comments:
Post a Comment